Today was a big day around here, or maybe just for me. It was my first day to actually go into the office where I work. I was supposed to be there from 8-10 this morning. And not only was I going, but I was planning on taking Ainsley with me. Don't forget that my office is 45 minutes from our house. This was going to be a BIG trip.
Naturally, last night around 6pm I started thinking about everything I would need to do and take with me this morning. I put the box of papers that need to be filed at the office by the stairs so I wouldn't forget them. I got a bottle for Ainsley ready to go in the refrigerator. I made sure I had diapers, wipes, and a changing pad in my purse. I reminded Heath that I'd have to wake him up early so he could move his car from behind mine. I even planned out what both Ainsley and I would wear on this BIG day, all the way down to shoes and socks. For those who may be interested it was a classic black shirt and jean jacket with comfy khakis for me and cute green and white outfit for her. I thought through how long getting myself ready and fed and Ainsley dressed and fed would take and set my alarm clock accordingly. And then I went to bed assured that everything was just right, planned perfectly so that the following morning would go off without a hitch.
I awoke this morning to my lovely alarm music and only dilly-dallied for a minute before getting out of bed. The morning went exactly as planned; both Ainsley and I were dressed, fed, and ready to go by 7am. I was quite pleased to be walking out the door right on time. (If my life was a B-rated movie, this is the point where a song going something like "pride goes before the fall" would start playing.) After backing the car out of the driveway, I put it into drive and looked up into a completely fogged over windshield. Immediately frustrated, I pulled the car over, blasted the defrost, and impatiently leaned back to wait until I could once again see the oncoming traffic. All you who live in the North are shaking your heads at me right about now - how could I, a good Iowa girl, forget that a cold car needs time to warm up?! My justification is that it is so rarely cold here, it is usually safe to assume that I won't need to utilize my cold weather common sense. Anyway, a full twenty minutes later, I was finally leaving our neighborhood. I was fuming as I merged with the early morning traffic on the nearby highway. I mean really, what Dallasarian would ever think to add more time in their schedule to allow for car window to defrost?
And then I realized "I'm such a control freak!" I've never thought of myself as a control freak, but I can hardly deny it after such a performance. It had absolutely destroyed my mood to have one relatively small unexpected event disrupt my perfectly planned morning. Hmm...what a discovery! I guess it's true that you learn something new every day.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
hi, my name is...what's my name, again?
It's been awhile since I've written and though I could give excuses such as "I just had a baby!" to explain my long absence, the real reason is that my thoughts of late have been a little muddled and lacking creativity. So if this post seems random and disorganized, please know that I'm processing a mountain of thoughts that have accumulated over the past 5 1/2 weeks and are now avalanching their way out. Here goes...
Unconsciously, I think I've been trying to figure out where I fit into this new role as "Mother." (Doesn't just the name sound daunting and intimidating?) Even though I've been able to lay claim to this title for over 5 weeks, I am just now "feeling it". No one told me it would take this long before I'd feel comfortable considering myself "Mother." From everyone's comments, I assumed I would just slip into the role naturally, without any confusion as to where "I" come in. What I mean by that is this: Pre-Ainsley (from here on out, PA) I knew who I was and what sorts of roles and activities characterized my life. I was wife, daughter, sister, friend, employee, co-worker, neighbor. I took care of the house, cooked, worked, hung out with Heath, enjoyed many creative outlets. Adding "Mother" to my established list threw a wrench in things, to say the least. Suddenly I had become feeder, bather, diaper changer, put-er to bed, story teller, teacher...you get the picture - a whole new list of activities and roles which til now were altogether unfamiliar to me. During those first weeks, my days and nights were quite consumed with feeding, waking, diapering, and playing with Ainsley. I had neither time nor energy to think much about my PA activites like cooking, cleaning, working, reading, shopping, going for walks, being creative, hanging out with friends. Was the new role "Mother" supposed to trump everything now? Are my PA activities and roles supposed to go into hibernation until the empty nest period?
Only in the past several days have I been able to begin processing all this to discover again how it fits together. True, I've added "Mother" to the top of my list of roles (after child of God and wife), but the PA me that I knew is still there. I still like to read, paint, scrapbook, cook, decorate, sew, crochet. My heart is still refreshed by creativity, deep friendships, a good book, and a cup of coffee. I am still interested in a great bargain, in hunting down the perfect gift, in trying new & different recipes. I am still Me. Me just also happens to be "Mother" to a precious baby girl named Ainsley. And I'm so glad to discover that I am and can be both! I love the new "Mother" emotions I'm experiencing - hurting when she's in pain, glee when she's happy, relief when she falls asleep, anticipation of her next milestone, the desire to protect her, hope that she'll
understand her need for a Savior, pride in her accomplishments, and a deeper trust that the One who made her and gave her to me loves her more than I ever could. I love the idea of teaching her how to tie her shoes, color in the lines, bake cookies, and write a research paper. But most of all, I love that I've been given the awesome joy and responsibility to teach and train this little one to be a godly woman who will be a refreshing light in this dark world.
Hi, my name is Kristen, and I am a Mother.
Unconsciously, I think I've been trying to figure out where I fit into this new role as "Mother." (Doesn't just the name sound daunting and intimidating?) Even though I've been able to lay claim to this title for over 5 weeks, I am just now "feeling it". No one told me it would take this long before I'd feel comfortable considering myself "Mother." From everyone's comments, I assumed I would just slip into the role naturally, without any confusion as to where "I" come in. What I mean by that is this: Pre-Ainsley (from here on out, PA) I knew who I was and what sorts of roles and activities characterized my life. I was wife, daughter, sister, friend, employee, co-worker, neighbor. I took care of the house, cooked, worked, hung out with Heath, enjoyed many creative outlets. Adding "Mother" to my established list threw a wrench in things, to say the least. Suddenly I had become feeder, bather, diaper changer, put-er to bed, story teller, teacher...you get the picture - a whole new list of activities and roles which til now were altogether unfamiliar to me. During those first weeks, my days and nights were quite consumed with feeding, waking, diapering, and playing with Ainsley. I had neither time nor energy to think much about my PA activites like cooking, cleaning, working, reading, shopping, going for walks, being creative, hanging out with friends. Was the new role "Mother" supposed to trump everything now? Are my PA activities and roles supposed to go into hibernation until the empty nest period?
Only in the past several days have I been able to begin processing all this to discover again how it fits together. True, I've added "Mother" to the top of my list of roles (after child of God and wife), but the PA me that I knew is still there. I still like to read, paint, scrapbook, cook, decorate, sew, crochet. My heart is still refreshed by creativity, deep friendships, a good book, and a cup of coffee. I am still interested in a great bargain, in hunting down the perfect gift, in trying new & different recipes. I am still Me. Me just also happens to be "Mother" to a precious baby girl named Ainsley. And I'm so glad to discover that I am and can be both! I love the new "Mother" emotions I'm experiencing - hurting when she's in pain, glee when she's happy, relief when she falls asleep, anticipation of her next milestone, the desire to protect her, hope that she'll
understand her need for a Savior, pride in her accomplishments, and a deeper trust that the One who made her and gave her to me loves her more than I ever could. I love the idea of teaching her how to tie her shoes, color in the lines, bake cookies, and write a research paper. But most of all, I love that I've been given the awesome joy and responsibility to teach and train this little one to be a godly woman who will be a refreshing light in this dark world.Hi, my name is Kristen, and I am a Mother.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Saturday, December 29, 2007
A Wonderful Christmas
My parents and siblings came to Texas this year for Christmas. We had a wonderful time together!
We cooked....and ate...
We cooked....and ate...
(I really did help, but at this particular moment, I had been instructed to sit down and put my feet up. Mom was wonderful in all she did to help, as was the rest of the family!)
We played games...
We opened a lot of presents...
We even had time to relax...
Merry Christmas Everyone!!
We opened a lot of presents...
We even had time to relax...
Merry Christmas Everyone!!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
hippopotamusses
Some friends recently introduced me to this great hippopotamus Christmas song. They couldn't believe that I'd never heard it before. In case you also fall into that category, I've included a link of a You Tube version of the song below.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=KtqIM_bPTws
I think this song is particuarly entertaining for a couple of reasons. First, the pronunciation of "hippopotamusses" cracks me up! Isn't it so like kids to be convinced that they're saying it right, but really be so wrong? But it doesn't even matter because it is so cute! I'm telling you, kids are the only ones who can get away with horrible grammar and pronunciations.
My parents tell me that when I was young (but still much older and wiser than my little brother), one such situation occurred. Keenan was asking for more "sghetti"; I firmly corrected him saying, "it's not 'sghetti', it's 'p-sghetti'!" And of course in my stubborn little mind, I was absolutely right!
The other reason I like the hippo song is because it accentuates how children can get obsessed with something and be absolutely sure that it would work out. I remember telling my parents that of course there was room for a horse to live in our backyard! (and I still think, why not? it'd be so much fun!)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=KtqIM_bPTws
I think this song is particuarly entertaining for a couple of reasons. First, the pronunciation of "hippopotamusses" cracks me up! Isn't it so like kids to be convinced that they're saying it right, but really be so wrong? But it doesn't even matter because it is so cute! I'm telling you, kids are the only ones who can get away with horrible grammar and pronunciations.
My parents tell me that when I was young (but still much older and wiser than my little brother), one such situation occurred. Keenan was asking for more "sghetti"; I firmly corrected him saying, "it's not 'sghetti', it's 'p-sghetti'!" And of course in my stubborn little mind, I was absolutely right!
The other reason I like the hippo song is because it accentuates how children can get obsessed with something and be absolutely sure that it would work out. I remember telling my parents that of course there was room for a horse to live in our backyard! (and I still think, why not? it'd be so much fun!)
Monday, December 10, 2007
the golden compass, part 2
Well, here it is a week and a half later, and I've finished listening to "The Golden Compass." Actually, I finished it last Wednesday, but I've been having a rough time getting my thoughts organized concerning its merit. It definitely left me hanging, and I already requested the next book on CD from the library. Hopefully it comes soon!
As far as fictional stories go, it is great - truly intriguing and fun to read (or listen to). At best, I would say that my thoughts are inconclusive. While I thoroughly enjoyed the story, I am hesitant to regard it as worthy literature for children. I suppose the main reason for my confusion is that I've heard so very much from various Christian organizations basically condemning it. Focus on the Family's Plugged In representative gave the movie 1 out of 5 on the family friendly scale. Even Dr. Darrell Bock, a noted Dallas Theological Seminary professor whom Heath & I both admire, was shown on TV last week saying that Christians should at least be wary of the books. Do you see my dilemna? Do I dare disagree with such wise men and women?
I think I'm beginning to understand why prayer is needed so much as we learn to live righteously and teach our children to do the same!
As far as fictional stories go, it is great - truly intriguing and fun to read (or listen to). At best, I would say that my thoughts are inconclusive. While I thoroughly enjoyed the story, I am hesitant to regard it as worthy literature for children. I suppose the main reason for my confusion is that I've heard so very much from various Christian organizations basically condemning it. Focus on the Family's Plugged In representative gave the movie 1 out of 5 on the family friendly scale. Even Dr. Darrell Bock, a noted Dallas Theological Seminary professor whom Heath & I both admire, was shown on TV last week saying that Christians should at least be wary of the books. Do you see my dilemna? Do I dare disagree with such wise men and women?
I think I'm beginning to understand why prayer is needed so much as we learn to live righteously and teach our children to do the same!
Friday, November 30, 2007
the golden compass
Recently, I received a message from a Facebook friend that directed me to a website about the movie "The Golden Compass." I'd heard nothing previously about this movie, and I'm generally one to ignore such messages, but on this particular day curiosity won out and I clicked the link. Snopes.com opened and the question posed was whether or not the new movie "The Golden Compass" is "based on books with anti-God & anti-religious themes". (For those who may not be as nerdy as my husband and I, Snopes.com is a website devoted to researching urban legends.) This particular legend was deemed "true" and from what I gathered from the article, there is a debate among Christians about the danger of letting our children both see the movie and read the book. Sources said that the author (Philip Pullman) of the three volume series "His Dark Materials" of which "The Golden Compass" is first, is decidedly athiest, and that his books are meant to be actively opposed to C.S. Lewis' "The Chronicles of Narnia." Apparently, the movie is a tame version of the books, which causes alarm that children will see the movie, love it, read the books, and be indoctrinated with all sorts of anti-God ideas. By this time, my curiosity was aroused even further and since I very belatedly joined the search to discover for myself the quality of the Harry Potter books, I decided I would not fall behind on this one. Immediately I found the audio recording version of "The Golden Compass" in the Dallas Public Library's system and requested the next available copy.I've been listening to it since Monday on my drive to and from work (an easy 45 minutes one way). I am about halfway through, and I won't deny that the story is intriguing. I feel constantly pulled in by the plot and all the unknown factors. It is a magical, fanciful story, and already I have come across several great themes. Themes like the desire & need to rescue those who have been lost or enslaved; prophecies of one to come who will save all life; the battle between good and evil; the knowledge that there exists another world, one that cannot be seen. And I'm sure there are many more. Although it isn't a Christian book, so far I can't say that it is anti-God any more than I can say Harry Potter is anti-God. As of yet, I cannot rate this book as either a "bad" or a "good" book; only that it should be read with the understanding that it is a fictional work of the imagination of an imperfect man. Just as anything must be held up against Truth, so must this book.
As I continue to listen to the story and finish it, I'll keep you posted on any further thoughts...
If you're interested in finding out more, here's the link to the Snopes.com article, as well as a few other news articles:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/compass.asp
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21595083/
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,305487,00.html
http://movies.about.com/od/thegoldencompass/The_Golden_Compass_2007.htm
http://www.christianpost.com/article/20071105/29957_'Golden_Compass'_Author_Denies_Promoting_Atheism_in_Books.htm
http://www.familylifeculturewatch.com/2007/11/the-controversy.html
http://www.bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=26849
http://www.oneplace.com/Ministries/Family_News_in_Focus/archives.asp
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